Science Daily Jan. 16, 2013 — Eating three or more weekly servings of fast food is linked to the severity of allergic asthma, eczema, and rhinitis among children in the developed world, indicates a large international study published online in the respiratory journal Thorax.

Holy shit.  I’m speechless.  You mean to tell me that shitty food causes health issues?  This article confirms to me that there are simply too many people on this planet.  You have people who eat fast food three or more times a week.  You have scientists who can’t find real work, and have to resort to studying people who eat fast foo three or more times a week.  You have people who spend time reading Thorax to “learn” about this finding.  You have at least one moron who writes an op-ed about it on a website that hasn’t been updated in months.  Obviously we are stunting evolution of the human race.

But seriously, are there really people that don’t know that bad food causes health issues?  Is this news?  Are we screwed?  I know I eat cheeseburgers and rate them, but I also know the effects that the food has on my body.  No scientist needs to tell me that; my weight and appearance are fine enough indicators.

I was all set. Burgers…Check, Alcoholics…Check, Free Wine…Check. The Burgers were made to order but I made myself a 12oz meat masterpiece with lettuce, cheddar cheese, bacon under and over the cheese and sauteed onions on a store bought roll. It was a little over cooked (hey, I have to be honest) but damn tasty nonetheless. Now it was time for wine. I uncorked the wine (classier than a screw off) and poured a few generous glasses. We sniffed, we sipped and we all came to the same conclusion.

WOW that’s a REALLY good glass of wine!!

I have to say it really was. Everyone agreed that not only did it go well with the burger but it also was just a good stand-alone bottle of red wine. I emailed Laura a few days later and asked what was a good way to reference her wine because who only knows how bad I would screw that up. She said Cheeseburger Red is considered a table wine.  This means it’s a blend of a few grapes and meant for everyday drinking. I loved it.  It goes well with any meat dish – not just burgers. If I had any criticism it would be that the label on the bottle makes it looks a little sloppy in it’s design. It looks cheaper (quality) than it actually is. Don’t be fooled it was a really good bottle of wine, especially since it sells for $12.99 (as of 07/2012).

Do yourself a favor and go to Rootstockcellars.com and order a few bottles. It’s a great tasting wine for a great price and oh yeah it goes with burgers.

A California fast-food worker stabbed a customer in the gut after the man complained about his order, police said.  The alleged victim was grabbing a late-night snack at Del Taco in Hemet, east of Los Angeles, at around 2 a.m. on Thursday when he was attacked, KTLA reported.   The patron wasn’t identified by police.The man was unhappy about his order and complained to taco slinger Gabriel Villalba, 28, cops said.The argument got physical, and Villalba plunged a knife into the customer’s belly, cops said.  The man’s friends rushed him to a local hospital, where he was reported in serious condition and expected to survive.  Villalba was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon and was being held on $25,000 bail at the Larry D. Smith Correctional Facility in Banning.

When I was in high school, I worked at Burger King.  Because of my command of things like the English language, counting money, and smiling, I was quickly moved to the front counter to take orders.  While there were several regulars who gave me grief, there is one that came closest to getting a knife plunged into his belly (so to speak).

He would come up to the counter and order a Whopper (with cheese) meal, no rabbit food.  The first time he ordered, I asked, “So, no vegetables?”  He responded “No rabbit food.”  I looked at him, blinked, and then put in his order.

To those unfamiliar with a Whopper, it consists of a burger, cheese, LETTUCE, TOMATO, PICKLES, ONIONS, ketchup, and mayonnaise on a bun.  So, naturally, I removed all items that a rabbit might eat if it were to happen upon a garden of all of the items in a Whopper.  Now, I know a rabbit might not eat pickles, but then again, I AM NOT A RABBIT.  The patron was not at all pleased when he got his burger, and it looked like a giant cheeseburger with mayo.

Him:  I said no rabbit food.

Me: I know.

Him:  What does this look like to you?

Me:  A Whopper without vegetables.

Him: I didn’t say “no vegetables.”  I said “no rabbit food.”

Me:  Sir, I don’t own a rabbit.  I am not a rabbit.  I do not know what rabbits do and do not eat.

Him (in a condescending, quiet voice): Ok. No lettuce.  Lettuce is rabbit food.  I do not want rabbit food.

Me:  Great.  No lettuce.

Him: No rabbit food.

Me (wishing I could plunge a knife into his belly): Sure thing.

Just thinking about him makes my skin crawl.

Gabe should not have stabbed that guy.  That being said, I am sure the guy deserved the attack in some way.  He probably came in barking about a missing taco, or wanting napkins, or that there was rabbit food on his taco.  Gabe had had enough, plain and simple.

First stop was to do some real “Call of Duty” shit like fire an AK-47. I was hoping to fire off a bazooka or throw a grenade like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando but no such luck. Firing a few guns and delivering a kill shot to my paper targets neck was good enough. After that it was back to the house we rented to watch game 3 of the Devils/Rangers play offs.

After a disappointing loss from the Devils (which wouldn’t matter in the end), half a bag off funyuns, and a few Dogfish 90 minute IPA’s it was off to Barley Creek Brewing Company for a tour, tasting and eating.

We arrived, got the tour, and sat down for some tasting. There was more involved in the tour. I know we saw the barrels and we were in the fridge, but I was already half in the bag and in the back of the line because I have the bladder of a 2 year old. After the tour, we sat at a long table in the middle of the restaurant and had a pretty good tasting of all the different brews. We also ordered some wings and these large hot pretzels stuffed with crab dip and served with cheese. Damn I just got hungry writing about them, and it’s 8 in the morning so yeah, they were that good.

After that is was dinnertime. I actually thought about ordering something light because of the funyons, heavy amounts of beer and app explosion happening in my stomach. I was immediately reminded by anyone in the area that I was to stop tucking it back, man up and EAT!!!! Ughhh when you’re right your right but this was going to hurt.

It was day two of my three day DC road trip. Day one involved an awesome burger joint in Baltimore, a stop at the Aquarium and a quick jog into Virginia to pick up our Cousin and her Husband – a man who could easily be mistaken as the white Kanye West – at the airport. From there it was back to Washington DC for dinner and drinks. The next day, we slowly got our act together and got moving. The plan was be in the heart of DC by noon, and find a place to have beers and burgers. That was enough to get my ass in gear.

No plan, no time table, just the four of us and the navigation skills of a blood hound or Locke from Lost thanks to Chris (The white Kanye). We drove in, parked,  and took a walk. A few block away from the Verizon Center we found RFD, a bar that advertised it’s massive selection of beer (best in Washington DC) and a daily burger. The place looked good and we were ready to drink.

Finding a good place to eat out of state is a crapshoot. You can comb urban spoon, yelp, and open table, but I prefer google. I figure if they can create enough chatter on the web than they must be doing something right. Trolling various keywords led me time and time again to the Abbey Burger Bistro.

Now this is a good lesson about perception. If you look at there website, not only does it suck (sorry guys ☹), but it looked like a kids place or the lobby to Medieval Times (which could have been cool). This not only made me nervous because I was about to drive 4 hours to try what could be a medieval chucky cheese, but I also had to sell my road trip partner on the fact that we should try this joint.

Luckily I learned a good lesson that day, which was stick to your guns. This would also be a good lesson for the entire weekend, which I will write about as soon as I get all the reviews in. Anyway, after circling the streets in the area about 10 times and our nav system “recalculating” on every turn, we decided to park and walk around. Following the directions we realized that the Abbey Burger Bistro was in a side alley, which was blocked by a delivery truck. As we walked up it was apparent that this was a bar and not a 7 year old’s social event.

We walked in, sat at the bar, and looked through the menus. Beer and burger options were a plenty as I looked at burgers like the bayshore burger and the peanut butter burger. Yup a peanut butter burger. I wasn’t feeling courageous, nor do I ever judge a place on a “specialty” burger.  Plus, the create-a-burger menu had a checklist. Way too much fun to pass up. I was to be Lord of the burger making on this day.

** My partner in burger crime (my wife) had a set and looked to try the Peanut Butter Burger. Check back for her write up on this salty and savory experiment.

Oh, and if you are so inclined, you can go HERE to vote for the burgers that sound the best to you.  Any of the 20 options is not wrong, but several look UNREAL.  If you provide your email address, you can win tickets to attend

Good luck!

Went to Marley’s a couple weeks ago with Steve and three other guys.  Steve was punctual (as usual), and the rest of us were a bit late for various reasons.  Nonetheless, we got to the bar for a pre-dinner drink.  Determined fairly quickly that A) they had Victory Hop Devil on tap and B) it was only $3.75 a glass (if I read the bill correctly). Victory indeed.

I brought a gift certificate from restaurant.com that gave us $50 off the bill, assuming we were able to spend $100.  Easy.  We got a couple orders of wings and a quesadilla, a couple rounds of beers, and our burgers.  Mine had cheddar, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayo.  I do not typically get mayo on a burger, but something compelled me.

The burger was cooked perfectly, and was quite good.  I would definitely order a burger again, and play with the available combinations.  The sweet potato fries were good, but not the best I have ever had.

The bar and restaurant portions are fairly separated, and the televisions are in the bar area.  that being said, the dining room was very conducive to having fun conversation with your group.

I will be going back sooner than later, and I am hoping some of my fellow Hackettstown residents will follow me.

The Burger Mayhem Crue was out in full force for some burgers at Marleys Gotham Grill in Hackettstown New Jersey. In attendance was Chris, Mark (an honorary crue member), and myself as well as Chris’s brother Joe and his buddy Dan. We met up to try a new joint in Hackettstown but more importantly to raise money for a good cause.

After having burgers at Marleys Gotham Grill we went to the Knights of Columbus hall in Hackettstown to play Brooklyn Shuz for the Joey Johnson fund. Joey is a two-year-old boy who was diagnosed with brain cancer. As soon as Chris brought the story to my attention I was on board for the charity but after reading Joey’s story I felt even more compelled to be a part of helping. I have a two-year-old daughter that has stolen my heart. I have no idea how I would deal with what that family is going through. I wish them the best.

What is Brooklyn Shuz? Well it seems to be a cross between corn hole and horseshoes. Matt Gandley is the creator and I have to say the game was really fun. The object is each team of two faces off and throws these small rubber disks about the size of a drain cap at a target painted on what looks like a wooden draw with a backdrop. Like horeshoes in the whole is three, a leaner is two and closest to the hole is 1 point. The first to twenty-one wins equals winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Chris and his brother John were on one team while Mark and I were on another. I talked a big game coming up to the tournament (as I do with anything) but after a practice round Mark was looking to trade teammates. Yeah so maybe I didn’t even come close to hitting the board. I don’t blame him for wanting to bail on me but he knew he had to shoulder the load (eeww) because I’ve had to bail him out in beer pong more than once. Chris and his brother threw like they were born to do it in true (and typical) Russo fashion. The tournament was set up in a winner and looser bracket showdown with 5 lanes. We chose our team names, paid our entry and headed to the bar to fuel up until our team names were called.

Round One: “The Crooked Arms” were called over the PA. It was go time and Mark and I were as ready as we were going to be. We faced a married couple that had played the game many times before. In fact the wife was one of the people involved with organizing the event. So to make a long story short and despite Marks best efforts we were off to the loser bracket (Whatev man!!). Chris’s team the R2′s quickly advanced to the second round of the winners bracket.

Round Two: Two beers later the Crooked Arms were up as their last ditch effort to stay alive. We faced off against a couple of dudes who had also lost so maybe there was hope. All of a sudden my mojo kicked in. Boom, Boom, two “ringers” back to back. Then Mark went. Boom,Boom,Boom! Three ringers from Mark! “Razzle Dazzle” we were on fire (see NBA JAM for quotes). The Crooked Arms walked away proud. Our confidence was high and we were ready for the next losers in our bracket. Until then back to the bar. The R2′s had lost so now the drama of a Burger Mayhem head to head dual was on the table.

Round Three: “The Demise” — We came upon a duo of crushers. I think one of the guys were actually a co — creator of the game or something like that. They gave us schooling in a hurry. Oh well it was just for charity anyway. R2 also fell to a painful loss that kicked them out of the bracket as well.

At this point there was nothing left to do but head back to our cars and stop back in for a final drink at Marley’s Gotham Grill. We had a great time and we helped raise money for a great cause so to me the night was a “great success“. It was great to hang out with the crue especially since Mark and Chris have kids under one and my little bambiono is just over two. I think it was amazing we could even get to hang out together. It’s good to get out with the guys when you can. Finding a cool bar with great burgers and beer accompanied by playing drinking sports to raise money was a great time.

Good luck in the future to the Johnson family. If you’d like to help you can write to Heartworks c/o Marcie Furlong, PO Box 389, Denville, NJ 07834. Checks can be made out to Heartworks with “Joey Johnson Fund” in the memo.